A Place to Belong

I came this first year of university hoping for a good dorm, filled with sweet girls who could become a family. And I have been so blessed.

My dorm, 4W, has become my home, and the girls have become my sisters. At the beginning of the year, I was scared of what the transition would be like and how I would learn to function living with so many new girls. But now, with only two days left living in my dorm, I am almost scared to leave. This place is my safety zone, my resting place. Just like leaving home to come here felt like a leap of faith for me, so does leaving here to go back. What will be back home? What will it  be like? How will I spend my days, without my Rachel to laugh with, my Maya to call me "Cookie", my Alex to tease, my Brittany to love on? What will happen without the late night talking sessions of the Fab Four? 

I could never have imagined at the beginning of this year that these are the type of questions and concerns I would have now. While I am still SO ready for summer and for the end of school, I don't feel ready to leave this place. Because I know that when I come back, it will all be different again. This is hard for me because I've realized that here, I am comfortable, I feel accepted and loved, I am safe, I can rest, I can have adventures and make hilarious memories, I can speak deeply with the people around me, I can be challenged by new ideas. Unbeknownst to me, over the year, 4W became my place to belong. 

Over the years, these types of places have varied. Sometimes they have place places of deep belonging, other times a quiet comfortableness. There has been my middle school youth group, ZLO, my community college, and my high school youth group. There has been my friend groups and close relationships that have been and are places to belong. And now, I have had the unexpected privilege to call this university, and this dorm full of amazing women, another one of those places. 

God is so good, and I have been so overwhelmingly blessed. And I know that no matter where each of my girls go and what we all do, 4W is a place in our hearts where we will always have a place to belong.

A Word From a Friend

This is a post written by my friend, Keturah, an amazing woman who is captivated by the heart of God, and in whom the heart of God delights. What amazing words of freedom!

When beauty is protected, encouraged and cherished, women can breathe again. They can dance without shame, they can dress lovely without rivalry or conceit. Why do women spend so much time trying to compare ourselves? Because we've spent our lives wondering if we're worth being picked for the garden. 

Is our beauty good enough for a masterpiece, are we worth adorning? Behind the desire for jewels, shoes and designer clothes is a root much deeper than competition, it's a question. Am I worth pursuit without a selfish motive? Am I beautiful enough to adorn? Do you want beauty, or is beauty too much for you? Am I lovely?

Will you protect my beauty, or would you rather I hide my beauty so you don't have to put out the effort?

Would you hide my beauty and then complement a woman who is not encouraged to hide it? Would you look at a woman free to be herself and think that's a beauty worth appreciating, when I'm here, feeling unworthy of protection, unworthy of adornment? 

Men, you were meant to protect beauty, not control the amount of beauty so that you don't have to put out the effort. Tell us were beautiful! Don't worry what we'll think of you. I don't need to be in your garden for you to appreciate my beauty. But those of you who have a woman in your care, why don't you show her that she is worth having a man at her side and not a boy that sits at the dinner table wondering why it's late. Not a picky man who would rather she dress down so she doesn't draw too much attention. Is she worth a fight? Is she worth being bold for? Is she worth making sure that the other men know she came with you? Not to their shame or for your fame, not over the top for your pride, but for her to know that you would protect her from the creepers conversation and the life threat alike! That you would see that her heart needs protection too.

If you wait till our lives are threatened it may be too late. Don't let your flowers droop in shame. Water them with truth about what you see that is beautiful about them. They may not believe your words at first, but in time they will believe your actions. When you do small things out of sacrificial love, not just something she would appreciate that's easy for your brownie points. Do something that's hard. Something no one else will see. Just for her benefit. And don't expect a thank you, just keep doing it, if she's worth it. 

The DNA of the woman came from the heart of a King. Just like woman, He wants to know we appreciate Him. If He's worth sacrificing your comfort for. Her heart shows something of His. A longing to be desired, for the beauty that came from much pain, to be appreciated and not mocked. 

We women have caused fatal wounds to many boys and men. But please know that some of us repent. We felt unprotected so we tried to prove we didn't need your protection anyway, but we went our question answered by a man and not a boy.

We want men again.

I believe in you men and boys, you were made with a heart to fight, to protect beauty, to long for an adventure. We have told you for centuries that you couldn't be what you were made to be. That you'd never be men. What a disturbing thing to do. 

Men, we need you. We need you to be what you were made to be. I for one, let go of control over men. Be a man, protect beauty, have an adventure. Don't seek it for only us or for your good, but for the King, for the good of His family, His Kingdom.

Seek Him first, though your father may never have been proud, He will be, though your father may have avoided you, He won't, though you were broken by your fathers, He will heal and restore. He's not like your father! He will make you men who can fight in the midst of bloody war or as a checker at the grocery store. He is more than able to raise you as a man.

Earthly fathers tend to raise boys, but the King I know trains men (even from infancy). 

Beauty and strength are eternal attributes of the Kingdom to come. We get to be a visual aid if we choose to walk in our commissions. What a glorious honor.

Women lets stop stifling men and mocking their desire to be strong and able, start appreciating the way they love you. Stop trying to be stronger to shame the men, be strong as you ought and encourage your men to be stronger, without shaming them.

Men please stop being afraid of us, we need you now, stop mocking our beauty and tell us what you see as lovely, start fighting for us, for more than your image. What you see on movies, the men women tend to dote over, they're not just impossible heroes, they're men who let go of selfish pride. We don't expect a man that's perfect, but a man who is willing to be seen as imperfect without hiding, a man who will protect beauty without shame. A man who would risk his good, not only so he can have the beauty he longs to rescue, but so that the beauty herself is rescued, even if she will never be his.

Just Be Still

"Quiet me with your love." This has become my consistent prayer. In an era, a culture, and a situation that encourages and demands constant busyness, one of the hardest things I find to do is to still my thoughts and truly listen to God speak. My mind seems to be constantly full of thoughts, of plans, of anxieties. I often turn to writing my prayers because it helps my mind to not wander. But I want so desperately to be able to just be quiet before God, with God. To just say, "Father, communicate with me and help me hear you. Help my thoughts calm down and my head stop spinning!" 

These past couple days have been insane. With two major finals tomorrow, I've been studying like a madman. Today, a couple of my friends and I stayed in the same spot studying from 9:00am to 10:30pm. My brain has been overwhelmed. In my constant rush, my thoughts get jumbled and scattered, and I usually end up saying stupid and unnecessary things. But being the over-analyzer that I am, these careless acts become another part of the jumbled mess of thoughts that continue to race through my head. "What should I do? How can I fix what I've said? Ahhh I can't believe I did that. What was I thinking? Was it really that bad? ...yeah it was. darn it. Should I say something? Should I let it go? Will they let it go? Are they still thinking about it? I probably just ruined everything. Crap...why did you have to speak??" This is  small picture of my mind sometimes, but especially today. And trust me, there is no peace, there is no quiet, only my own mind grasping at straws for answers that never seem to be settled, and speculation that is enough to drive someone insane. 

But in the middle of all of this craziness, I realize something. When things are the craziest, when I am anxious, when I am panicking about finals or about my stupid blunder, when I am insecure about things that are going on in my life, when I feel like I am thinking so much and I can barely even hear myself, this is the time that I need to simply be quiet. Be quiet in His love. His love is overwhelming and overcoming. It overwhelms my heart and it overcomes my problems, my anxieties, my insecurities, and even my mistakes. His love is the healer of all hurts, and He makes right everything that had been done wrong. He hears, and he speaks. He holds all of His children in his hand, he is the comforter of all, the speaker of all truth. Being still in not easy for me, but sometimes, there is no other place I would rather be than quiet in the love of the Spirit. And there are no other thoughts I would rather have fill my mind than those of the Father. I want to be still in order to hear Him fill me with his thoughts, with his desires, with his plans.

There is only anxiety found in trying to fix things or to plan things on my own. I suck at those kinds of things and my plans never work out the way I intend. But the plans of the Lord are perfect. They require no analyzing, no correcting, no evaluating , no anxiety, and no regrets when they are carried out. The desires of God are good, and in thoughts of Jesus, peace is found. As Paul wrote, "Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable,...think on these things." In quietness before Jesus, he fills us up with the thoughts that are worthy to be considered. I don't need to be filled with worry, with anxiety, with guilt and shame, with constant planning and trying to control my life and the the affects of the past on my current life. He gives peace, and guidance, and quietness within his perfect love. 

Rest in His love, and walk in the knowledge that He is always with you, always communicating with you. He is the life. He alone is the truth. And from Him alone comes the thoughts worth dwelling on! 

Blessings on this beautiful day<3

When "boys will be boys", girls will be garbage.

Every person needs to take a look at this. Pure truth. I am saving this for when I have boys and girls of my own. Our Father loves his sons and daughters!! Each of us are honored in His sight and held in his arms. 

We were made for so much more than what our society settles with.

"There are more than a few good men. Real men like their Father, who laid down his life for his daughters." I am so blessed to know men that are growing more and more into being like their Father!

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/03/after-steubenville-what-our-sons-needs-to-know-about-manhood/