Just Be Still

"Quiet me with your love." This has become my consistent prayer. In an era, a culture, and a situation that encourages and demands constant busyness, one of the hardest things I find to do is to still my thoughts and truly listen to God speak. My mind seems to be constantly full of thoughts, of plans, of anxieties. I often turn to writing my prayers because it helps my mind to not wander. But I want so desperately to be able to just be quiet before God, with God. To just say, "Father, communicate with me and help me hear you. Help my thoughts calm down and my head stop spinning!" 

These past couple days have been insane. With two major finals tomorrow, I've been studying like a madman. Today, a couple of my friends and I stayed in the same spot studying from 9:00am to 10:30pm. My brain has been overwhelmed. In my constant rush, my thoughts get jumbled and scattered, and I usually end up saying stupid and unnecessary things. But being the over-analyzer that I am, these careless acts become another part of the jumbled mess of thoughts that continue to race through my head. "What should I do? How can I fix what I've said? Ahhh I can't believe I did that. What was I thinking? Was it really that bad? ...yeah it was. darn it. Should I say something? Should I let it go? Will they let it go? Are they still thinking about it? I probably just ruined everything. Crap...why did you have to speak??" This is  small picture of my mind sometimes, but especially today. And trust me, there is no peace, there is no quiet, only my own mind grasping at straws for answers that never seem to be settled, and speculation that is enough to drive someone insane. 

But in the middle of all of this craziness, I realize something. When things are the craziest, when I am anxious, when I am panicking about finals or about my stupid blunder, when I am insecure about things that are going on in my life, when I feel like I am thinking so much and I can barely even hear myself, this is the time that I need to simply be quiet. Be quiet in His love. His love is overwhelming and overcoming. It overwhelms my heart and it overcomes my problems, my anxieties, my insecurities, and even my mistakes. His love is the healer of all hurts, and He makes right everything that had been done wrong. He hears, and he speaks. He holds all of His children in his hand, he is the comforter of all, the speaker of all truth. Being still in not easy for me, but sometimes, there is no other place I would rather be than quiet in the love of the Spirit. And there are no other thoughts I would rather have fill my mind than those of the Father. I want to be still in order to hear Him fill me with his thoughts, with his desires, with his plans.

There is only anxiety found in trying to fix things or to plan things on my own. I suck at those kinds of things and my plans never work out the way I intend. But the plans of the Lord are perfect. They require no analyzing, no correcting, no evaluating , no anxiety, and no regrets when they are carried out. The desires of God are good, and in thoughts of Jesus, peace is found. As Paul wrote, "Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable,...think on these things." In quietness before Jesus, he fills us up with the thoughts that are worthy to be considered. I don't need to be filled with worry, with anxiety, with guilt and shame, with constant planning and trying to control my life and the the affects of the past on my current life. He gives peace, and guidance, and quietness within his perfect love. 

Rest in His love, and walk in the knowledge that He is always with you, always communicating with you. He is the life. He alone is the truth. And from Him alone comes the thoughts worth dwelling on! 

Blessings on this beautiful day<3